Your Wedding Ceremony - Harnessing the Power of Ritual in Your Wedding Ceremony

There's a lot of confusion about what ritual is. Brushing your teeth before you wash your face is not really a ritual as we often think of it, but a habit. Ritual is a religious or a communal activity which transforms things and makes them stronger -- and less impervious to assault. In the case of a wedding ceremony it moves you from being unmarried to married. At the most fundamental, it does that in a literal or legal sense. The best wedding ceremonies will do that in a figurative sense as well and provide the couple with a foundation (their wedding vows) for life-long marriage.
Here are some characteristics of ritual, which if included, will make your wedding ceremony not only beautiful but also meaningful and effective. The major emphasis of your wedding day should be your wedding ceremony. The party, while fun and maybe even glamorous, will not change your life. The wedding ceremony will. While the legal ends of a wedding ceremony can be accomplished by a 5-minute ceremony at the courthouse, the spiritual and emotional goals are not as easily accomplished by that service.
They are Public: While many marriages get their start with private ceremonies, even those are public. A minister or celebrant is present, and in most states, there must be at least one witness, whether supplied by you or the celebrant. But the mere act of having your ceremony witnessed by your beloved community strengthens the marriage. It has a side benefit of reminding the community about the power of their loving promises. But when you ask the families and the gathered community for their support for those witnessed marriage vows, the marriage is strengthened. Without the public nature, it isn't ritual; it's a practice.
They have a Purpose or Intended Outcome: A wedding ritual or wedding ceremony has a legal purpose: to see you married in the eyes of the law. It may have a spiritual purpose: to have this marriage blessed by God. It has a communal purpose: to receive the community's blessing on the marriage. I believe it has a more fundamental purpose as well: to provide the fundamental platform for your life-long marriage -- wedding vows that work.
They have Boundaries. Ritual is talked about being time outside of time. It's a special time when nothing other than the intended activities is attended to. The reason the announcement of marriage is made is to let everyone know that not only has the purpose of the ritual been accomplished but also that we are at, or nearing, the movement back into common time.
They are relevant. Wedding ceremonies should be relevant not only to the custom of marriage, but also to the couple being married. It should embrace the community (and its traditions) of which the couple is a part. Your wedding ceremony should look like you and your wonderful relationship -- soon to be marriage.
They have a Beginning, Middle and End: The reason that the Wedding March is part of a wedding ceremony is to signal that we are moving from common time to ritual time. The recessional does the reverse job. This is why "big" music is often used, we're asking people to pay attention and then we signal their release from that obligation. The middle is where the work is done.
Of course you can build a wonderful marriage without paying a lot of attention to your wedding ceremony. But to use an automobile analogy, when power steering was invented, it didn't take long to move from being an option to a standard accessory on your car. If you have the opportunity to create a ceremony that can profoundly and positively affect your marriage (oh and make the process of wedding planning more fun and more meaningful), why wouldn't you take it? Marriage is hard, use every advantage at your disposal. Concentrate more on this and less on the party. The party part isn't that difficult: good food, good music, good friends add up to a good time. Everybody knows how to come to a party!
Bottom Line?: Give your relationship the chance it deserves to succeed wildly, against all odds! After all, you deserve it. Your relationship deserves it! If you want in-depth pointers, ideas, information about designing your perfect wedding ceremony, explore my site! And now I'd like to invite you to sign up to receive 2 free templates for creating the wedding vows of your dreams and the marriage of a lifetime: http://annkeelerevans.org/weddings/free
The Rev. Ann Keeler Evans - helping you move from "I do" to happily and healthily ever after!